Feel Before You Think

In the quiet hours of dawn, as I became more conscious and slowly rose from sleep, I felt a hidden barrier within myself pleading to surface—a blockade carefully constructed in the shadows of my unconscious mind. This invisible obstacle stood between me and a force I had long kept at arm’s length: passion. Little did I know that this morning’s introspection would spark a profound journey of emotional rediscovery, challenging the very foundations of how I process feelings and think about personal growth.

As I lay there, eyes closed but mind awakening, I began a meditation that would peel back layers of emotional suppression, revealing a complex interplay between intellect and raw feeling. What unfolded was not just a moment of self-reflection but a transformative experience that would redefine my relationship with passion, purpose, and the sometimes messy process of becoming more authentically oneself.

This is how I learned to feel before I think, and in doing so, found a path to rekindling the fire of passion I had inadvertently extinguished.

Think Less, Feel More

As my emotions attempted to surface, I noticed that my mind would instantly start intellectualizing and filtering what they were trying to tell me—even BEFORE the emotion had utterly revealed itself. I found myself fascinated that I had created a structure in my mind that would scan for a hint of raw emotion and attempt to suppress it by categorizing it in an internal folder of "good for me to feel or bad for me to feel." But why? Why did I do this? I asked myself.

As my emotions attempted to rise again, I felt my intellect overpowering my thoughts with its input on what my feelings wanted to communicate. It was at this point that I had an epiphany. My mind had bottled down emotions in my body around this particular subject. My emotions wanted to talk to me, and my mind wanted my emotions to get in line with the new version of myself.

For added context, I have been deep into spiritual practices and self-improvement techniques since the end of 2020. Because of this, I've learned some amazing approaches, such as mind remapping. Mind remapping is the process of transforming or rewiring one's thought patterns and beliefs toward spiritual growth and enlightenment. This could involve practices like meditation, prayer, or other forms of introspection and self-reflection.

Now, at this point of realization of what was occurring within me, I knew what I had to do. I asked myself, why am I blocking myself from feeling passionate again? And on queue, the aforementioned events started again. Well, this time, I told my intellect to shut the hell up and let my emotions have the floor, raw and uncut. This sparked an increase of energy in my emotions, and oh boy, did feelings come flooding in.

I learned that I had attached my feelings of passion to hurt, disappointment, loss, grief, shame, and the start of terrible habits such as unmoderated drinking and smoking. The pure rawness of my emotions had taken over, and I bawled in silence, attempting not to wake my wife. It was at this point that I suddenly felt myself grow lighter as more emotions poured out. And anytime my intellect attempted to filter an emotion, I demanded that it submit to these emotions. Because not only are they valid, emotions can't give less of a fuck about logic.

Boom, I had broken a barrier in myself. My epiphany revealed that not only did my emotions deserve to be felt, but they demanded that my intellect not speak for them. To clarify, I'm referring to the brain's logical side when I mention intellect. Once I turned off my logical processor, the emotions could spring forth and give me valuable information on my beliefs around passion.

As I dived deeper into this emotional pit, memories surfaced of a time when passion had been the driving force in my life. It was a period of intense growth, ambition, and unrelenting transformation. This chapter of my journey, which I’ve come to call “The Spiral of Passion,” reflects the complex relationship between my dreams, my actions, and the unforeseen consequences that led me to this moment of reckoning.

The Spiral of Passion

For the sake of privacy and honor that I still hold towards the parties involved in this story, I will reveal a much shorter version of my spiral of passion.

Back in 2020, I launched a Residential Audio/Video Installation company with little to no experience in the business. What I did have going for me was my heart, passion, and skillset, which I had obtained during my career. Add that to a chip on my shoulder to become rich, and my small company was a huge success that first year. I had nearly quadrupled the revenue I was making on an hourly basis—more money than I have ever witnessed in my life.

During this time in my life, I met more new people than ever before and brought in more people under my company. I didn't just want to win; I wanted to win with those I grew up with and loved. All of us resembled underdogs who everyone had overlooked before and never expected to put together what we did. With this much momentum towards my goals of riches and grander recognition in my community, there was no way I would let us fail.

Well, as the story ultimately unfolded, I went through substantial ups and downs, and my life began to unravel. Boundaries were not set; therefore, chaos was presumed. At the end of a brilliant run with a full-fledged team supporting my company, I was left with scars that I subconsciously associated with “passion.” See, passion consumes you, and if you’re not sound, it can also attract people and events in your life that can put you in positions you never thought you would be. Good and bad.

After I had to let go of so many people and detached myself from their world, there was only me, myself, and I to hold accountable. Hence, the start of my spiritual journey. In doing this, though, the part I skipped was allowing myself to feel. Feel it all. Not in a way that my brain tries to justify, judge, or nullify the feeling. But in a way that I could receive the rawest part of myself and learn how to integrate that emotion into my life, not suppress it.

Long Live Passion

As I let out my last tears and steadied my breathing, I felt a profound shift within. The raw, unfiltered emotions that had surged through me weren’t just cleansing — they were transformative. I realized that by allowing myself to feel deeply, without the constant interference of my intellect, I had unlocked a new level of self-understanding.

My story has taught me that true growth lies not in suppressing our emotions or letting our minds constantly rationalize them but in embracing the full spectrum of our feelings. Passion, with all its potential for joy and pain, is not something to be feared or blocked but a powerful force to be channeled and integrated into our lives.

To those reading this, I offer this self-realized wisdom: Feel before you think. Allow your emotions to speak their truth before your mind rushes to interpret or judge. In doing so, you may discover, as I did, the limiting beliefs you’ve placed on yourself. You may uncover passions you thought were lost or discover new ones you never knew existed.

Remember, our emotions are not obstacles to overcome but signposts guiding us toward our authentic selves. By acknowledging them, feeling them fully, and then thoughtfully integrating them into our actions, we can align our lives more closely with our deepest truths and aspirations.

So, I encourage you: embrace your emotions, rekindle your passions, and step boldly into the fullness of who you are meant to be. The journey may be challenging, but the reward — a life lived with genuine passion and purpose — is immeasurable.

Here’s to many more people learning how to feel before they think.

Hi, my name is Justin. I am a passionate believer in self-expansion, and I help others learn to be more of their true selves. Read the rest of my stories, and if my writings resonate with you, please subscribe. I look forward to getting to know you by exchanging ideas, beliefs, and solutions to our everyday challenges.